Interesting interview with Sheryl Sandberg on her recent book about working women

http://www.npr.org/2013/03/11/173740524/lean-in-facebooks-sheryl-sandberg-explains-whats-holding-women-back

Book review: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/07/books/sheryl-sandbergs-lean-in.html?_r=0

Some opinions about her: http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/opinion-la/la-ol-facebook-sheryl-sandberg-deserves-respect-20130306,0,6928927.story

In general, I think it's not that effective when a super-successful outlier person tells everyone else, "You can be like me." Same goes for books from Obama, Jack Welch, etc. I know Sandberg isn't saying that explicitly, but she is a role model. Sandberg is an amazing story, but got a lot of help and special opportunities (and luck) along the way. Most working women will find themselves under more constraints, even if they are as sharp as Sandberg. I like the part of Sandberg's message that women shouldn't be their own worst enemy and limit themselves from their own fears. If you have a problem with something, stand up and do something about it. I think that advice applies to a lot of men too. All around us are messages and influences that say, "You can't do this, you can't do that, don't stick your neck out, just play it safe." But sometime they're right, because there isn't a 2nd chance if we take the wrong risk. And generally women have less room for error (partly due to our sexist culture). What about all the other Sandberg types who didn't make it big - maybe accidentally pissed off a boss or got pregnant at the "wrong time" or picked a bad company along the way? They had just as much potential and worked just as hard, but the truth is we often don't have much control of our destinies - even in the "meritocracy" of Silicon Valley.

To me, the irony of her message is that all the "bad" habits that Sandberg says women practice that hold them back (being humble & compromising, seeking out a mentor, second guessing - which gets a bad rap but often times saves one from a mistake!), are actually good working (and life) behaviors! Remember how Bush was seen as so much more "decisive" and "bold" than Kerry or Gore? Hitler was decisive and bold too (not implying parity among those leaders!). We know women are generally better human beings than men. It's just that the asshole men that tend to run the world don't do those civil things and take advantage/dismiss people who do. So once again, it's not "passive women" who are the problem, but ultra-aggressive/selfish/

greedy/sociopathic men and their contrived, dysfunctional professional culture. Similar to our previous emails, when it's too daunting to take on the assholes and try to change them, then the alternative (Sandberg's message) is "join 'em". I know that isn't exactly her thesis, but clearly she's not asking men to tone it down and act more "womanly." Heck Sandberg probably knows how to be a man more than I do. I am sure she understands men's contribution to the problem, though as a strong successful woman, it's unappealing to be a cliche: acting the victim and "blaming men", even if it's mostly accurate. Both sexes play a role, but instead of urging women to get more assertive, why doesn't she urge a change in workplace culture (like the Harvard article on civility) to accept and reward courteous, sensible, work-life balance women who also have great things to contribute? Why can't we figure out how to tap that resource, instead of forcing everyone to confirm to ghastly, male work expectations?